Mission: Hallowbeach?
by Sakura555
Summary: Lots of humor and some romance. But more of blabberness. But hey, give it a chance guyz and start reading. This has more chapters than it shows. You'll see when you start reading. Random Crack Fic.
1. Jealousies

**Hey guyz! I'm your new author, Sakura555! I'm going to continue the discontinued story, 'Mission: Hallowbeach?'. So, former readers please don't flame me if I didn't live up to your expectations or if I'm not as good as your former author. But at least I'm trying, right? Better a sucker chapter than no chapter right?**

**For new readers: I'm going to be picking up from where the author last left it. So, if you wanna understand the story, read from the beginning of Mission:Hallowbeach? in 'Your Pet Peeve' 's account.**

**Ok, on with the story!!!!**

**Disclaimer: One day I owned Naruto. Then I woke up. Too good to be true, ne?

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**

**Chapter 18: Jealousies**

"Thanks for the ride, Chouji!" Sakura beamed at the fat guy.

"Hn." Um… It's his way of saying thanks.

"No problem!" Chouji then, darted away.

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**With Kiba and Tobi**

"(sigh) why is it we don't have matches, ne Tobi?"

"Tobi don't need match. Tobi too cute for match."

"That's what you think. But hey, don't you think Sakura's body looks H-O-T?"

"H-O-T? Hmm.. Ha- Ho- H.. Hu… Oh hot? I think it's only warm…"

"(sigh) How stupid. Oh look there's Sakura and Sasuke! (wolf whistle)"

…

(wolf whistle)

"Who was that?" Sakura said as both their heads turned to the direction of the whistle.

Kiba strode over to them with Tobi following behind.

"Hey Sakura, are you hot?" Tobi asked innocently.

"Uhmm…. What do you mean Tobi?" Sakura said trying her best to cover the blush on her cheeks.

"Kiba thinks you're hot. Well, I don't think so because I think you're warm. Or else you have a fever…"

Everyone sweatdropped. Sakura turned to Kiba.

"Y-You think… I'm…" but before she could continue, Kiba grabbed her and kissed her ferociously. Right in front of Sasuke.

He glared.

They kissed.

He glared.

They kissed.

He growled.

They turned their heads and looked at him.

He had his sharingan eyes. And all around him was a murderous intent.

"What's wrong, chicken head?" But Sasuke wasn't in the mood for teasing. He was in the mood for killing.

Everyone gulped and ran. _"What the hell is his problem?"_ they thought.

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**With Shikamaru and Temari**

"Shika, look! I'm winning!!!!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Shikamaru, you're not looking!"

"The clouds are more interesting."

"Stupid clouds!"

"Don't insult them or they'll cry, resulting in troublesome rain…"

"How come the clouds get all of your attention while I get none? Stupid clouds!" And Temari got her fan and blew blew the clouds away whilst thinking in her mind, _"Clouds, clouds, go away! Come again another day, Little Temari wants attention."_

Shikamaru sighed, "You could have just told me you wanted attention you know. Troublesome woman…"

"Oh great, now look what you've done. You made me and Mario lose…"

"Haha. Serves you right for blowing my clouds away."

"I did it for your own good! You've never given me attention. All you do is mutter 'Troublesome', watch the clouds, sleep, and eat. Mutter Troublesome, watch the clouds, sleep, and eat. Mutter Troublesome, watch the clouds, sleep, and~" she wasn't able to finish her sentences. She looked up to see why and saw Shikamaru's lips crashing unto hers. A dark shade of red emerged into her face and she stared at Shikamaru, the lazy ass Shikamaru, kissing her! Can you believe that???

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**With Naruto and Hinata**

Both Naruto and Hinata were still there tied to the post together. Hinata was blushing like mad and Naruto was struggling like mad.

Mwahaha! They can never get out of a knot like that!

"Shut up you evil Narrator! Look what you even made Ten-ten and Neji do! You took away their virginity!" Why are you yelling so loud, Naruto? Are you afraid I might do something like that to you and Hinata too? Now Hinata turned even redder. If that's even possible. "Just…let us free!"

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

Sure, no. "Urgh!!!! Fu~" Watch your words, loudmouth! "Hmph!"

**30 Minutes Later**

"Hi nee-chan!"

"H-Hi Hanabi… wait. W-When did you get here?"

"I hid in the storage room of the boat. Ninja Academy was so boring and I wanted a vacation too."

"…"

**5 Minutes Later**

"Hey Hinata."

"Y-Yes N-Naruto-kun?"

"I think Hanabi looks cute. Don't you?"

"Thanks, Naruto nee-chan."

This time Hinata's face turned even redder if that's even possible. But no, she wasn't red of embarrassment but she was red of anger. Yes anger. And no, not at Naruto, but at me. Why?

"How dare you let Naruto-kun say that on front of the Hyuuga Heiress!" Uh-oh. I didn't! He said it on his own will! Promise! "Don't reason out with me, author!" Where did the stuttering go?

She was so angry that she broke free from the ropes. Hanabi was scared. She hid behind Naruto. Naruto just chuckled at Hanabi's cute antics.

Ask him yourself. "Fine! Oh Naruto!"

"Yes, Hinata?"

"Did you say Hanabi was cute in your own will?"

"Yeah why?"

"Gahhh!!!!" Uh-oh. Hinata's growing furious!

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**Guys, don't kill me! It sucked right? But better a sucker chapter than no chapter, right?**

**R&R!**


	2. Power Puff Gays

**Hey everybody! It's been a long time! Sorry, but I was really busy! I don't really update fast.... gomen!**

**And to 'Your Pet Peeve' : Thanks again for allowing me to continue! Standard Credit Applied.**

**Thanks to the following for reviewing:**

**AnimeFreak218 - Yeah, Naruto's too dumb to have planned that. Muahahaha  
Naruto: Hey, I am not dumb.  
ME: Are too.  
Naruto: Are not.  
ME: Are too.  
And so, the argue continued between the smart me and the dumb Naruto  
Naruto: I heard that.**

**gingystar555 - Hey, if you don't have anything to read, I would recommend the fanfic, 'Totally Girl Power 'by CherryBlossom555**

**kandylicious - You're welcome. And thank you for the review! Cool Name!**

**Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover - Thanks!**

**Nerd4eva - Thanks so much!**

**Standard Disclaimer Applied

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**

**Chapter 19: Power Puff Gays  
**

"Hey Hinata, what's wrong?"

"If Hanabi's cute, then what am I?"

"Hot?"

"R-Really?"

"Yeah! Look at yourself! I mean, I so want to get in that hot body!"

Hinata blushed a deep shade of red.

"Eewwww......" Hanabi said from behind Naruto.

"You're still here?" yelled Naruto in embarrassment to what he had just said with a kid around.

"Puh-lease! Did you see me go away? How pathetic!" Hanabi said walking away.

"You get back here you little slut!" Naruto yelled after her.

"Slut? How does that relate to the situation?" Hanabi asked confused.

Naruto stopped in his tracks to think. "I don't know." Hanabi, Hanabi, Hanabi. You shouldn't have bothered. You now how stupid Naruto can get.

"Yeah..." Hanabi said nodding her head in agreement.

"That is not true!" Is too. "Is not." Is too. "Is not!" Guys, watch this.... Is too. "Is not." (pause) What were you talking about again? "I don't know."

Hinata and Hanabi started rolling in the floor laughing their heads off. Told you so.

"Whatever."

Oooohh.... Did I make you angry, Naruto-kun? "Yeah." Way to put it bluntly, jerk. "Hey!" :p :p :p

**5 Minutes Later.**

"N-Naruto-kun, stop jumping. You won't be able to reach her." Hinata said watching the kitsune jump up and down, up and down.

"I'm gonna get him, whatever the cost. I'm gonna get him and tear him to shreds!" Naruto said quite... angrily.

"She's a she, Naruto." Hanabi corrected.

"Whatever."

Hey Naruto, even if you fly, you won't be able to reach me. I won't let you.

"Try me." Okay. "I didn't mean literally! It was an expression!"

Everyone's jaw dropped. Since when did Naruto become that smart?

"By the way, what does literally mean?"

Phew. I thought the world was coming to an end...

"Hey!"

**With Shikamaru and Temari**

Temari, using this to her advantage, wrapped her arms around Shikamaru's neck and kissed back more passionately. Ok, I DON'T LIKE TO WATCH WHERE THIS IS GOING! NEXT!

**With Kiba, Tobi, Sakura, and Sasuke**

Finally, due to his long legs, Sasuke caught up with them and began thinking of ways to torture them. He could just stab them everywhere, or kill them slowly making the pain very... feelable. (Is there even such a word?) Or he could just hang them. Or control them like puppets and make them dance while singing 'I Love You, You Love Me' from Barney. Ok, NEXT!

**With Deidara and Shino**

"Ouch, that hurt, un."

"Hn."

"Un."

"Hn."

"I am not going through the same thing again. So you better talk! Talk now!"

"Whatever. I'm bored too."

Jaw drop.

**With Neji and Ten-ten**

Pant. Pant. "You evil, evil, evil author! I'll stab you, and torture you, and control you, and castrate you, I'll rip your balls out!" Ten-ten said furiously.

Choke. Choke. I don't have balls!

"Oh. That makes us even!"

Faints.

Nejji - Not agen!

Kibaa - Ok, hu's d idiot hu did it dis tym?

Sakura - I'm the only one hu got may name spellid ryt! Yay!

Sasgay - Idiot.

Nawuto - Hahahahaha. Look at Sasuke's name!

Hineta - Well, cum bak later. We'll wait 4 d author 2 wek up first. Bye!

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**Sasgay - No authur's nute. Due to shock pwoblens.**

**Sakura - 1ce agen, the day is seved by d power puff gays!**

**Every1 - Hahahaha.**


	3. Marriage Interview

**Hey everybody! It's been a long time! Sorry, but I was really busy! I don't really update fast.... gomen!**

**And to 'Your Pet Peeve' : Thanks again for allowing me to continue! Standard Credit Applied.**

**Thanks to the following for reviewing:**

**Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover - Thanks for reviewing! You sound faithful! Hahahaha! Thanks again!**

**Maryam - Thanks! Sorry about the bad words it's just to humor this up a bit. ^-^ Welcome aboard!**

**What's my name? - That's okay! I know they're OOC here. But that's what random crack fics are supposed to be, right? ^_^ You're totally forgiven and welcome aboard!**

**Standard Disclaimer Applied

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**Chapter 20: Marriage Interview  
**

Huh? What happened?

"You fainted."

I woke up to find all the people gathered around me. Ok, enough about me, back to the story...

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**Somewhere In Konoha/Sand/Sound/**

"Hey, we have nothing else to do today,what should we do?"

"Let's go visit Sakura. It's been a long time since we've seen her."

"Ok."

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**Back In The Island**

"Hey guys, what should we do? It's getting really boring." Naruto complained.

"Go play with yourself." Ino replied.

"But that's boring too... I know! Let's play 'I Spy'!"

"But that's for children!"

"Nevermind that. Here, let me start... I spy something flying."

"A bird..." Sakura answered with boredom.

"Wrong."

"A cloud." said Ten-ten.

"Wrong again."

"We give up." Shikamaru yawned.

"It's that helicopter!"

"I see." said Rock Lee.

"Wait, helicopter?" Sakura bellowed. Everyone turned their heads upward to see 3 helicopters heading for them.

After a few minutes, the helicopter landed on the island and the boarders got out.

"SAKURA!!!!!" They yelled.

"Oh, Uchiha-san, Mikoto-san, Temari-chan, Kankuro-kun, and Sai's parents... What are you all doing here, and most importantly, why are you all shouting my name?"

"We're here for the marriage interview that we would like to hold." they replied.

"Wait a minute, Sakura is marrying Gaara, and that's final." Temari shouted at the others.

"Wait, no. Sakura met Sasuke first!" Mikoto shouted back.

"No, no... Sakura and Sai were friends first!" Sai's mother, Mrs. Amasa yelled back.

"Well, I don't care what you say, she's our family now!" Temari retorted.

"No, she's ours." said Mrs. Uchiha.

"Ours!" said Mrs. Amasa.

"Women are so troublesome..." Shikamaru commented.

"We know." said Kankuro, Mr. Uchiha, and Mr. Amasa.

Ok, here's the scene now:

Temari, Mrs. Uchiha, and Mrs. Amasa are throwing make-up at each other, while drawing on each others' faces with lipstick, and blinding each other with powder.

Kankuro, Mr. Uchiha, Mr. Amasa, Shikamaru, Neji, and Sasuke were just watching lazily like nothing was going on.

The Akatsuki were taking pictures.

Team 8, 9, 10, Sai, and Gaara were gaping.

Naruto was sleeping, dreaming of ramen.

And Sakura was pissed.

"What the hell---? I'm not marrying anyone!" Sakura yelled with fury. _'What day is this anyway? Marry-your-son-to-Sakura-when-you-have-nothing-to-do day? I should really mark this day in my emergency-run calendar.'_

"Yes you are! Now come here and join me in the marriage interview!" Mrs. Amasa shouted. At this, Sai couldn't take anymore and fainted.

"Hey! Don't shout at my soon-to-be sister-in-law! Come hear, dear, don't mind her...." Temari said. At this, Gaara's jaw fell to the ground, whilst blushing.

"Don't you dare tempt her! Sakura dear, don't listen to her. You and Sasuke would look very cute together. Imagine pink haired girls, running around shouting 'Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!' or little green eyed, black haired boys running around, destroying the walls with their super punches!" Mikoto said. And at this, Sasuke's mind began to wander on how to make those little pink haired, onyx eyed girls. Or those little green eyed, black haired boys and he blushed a dark shade of red.

Sakura, seeing this, pointed an accusing finger at him and yelled, "Pervert!" she looked at the three women before her and decided that it was now time to run for her sweet virginity.

And, Mikoto, Temari, And Kaisa chased her around the island while Fugaku, Kankuro, And Kaitou got really tired and annoyed.

"Let's go home?" Shikamaru suggested. The three men nodded and each got on their helicopters. Shikamaru got on Fugaku's helicopter since it was headed for Konoha and they went home leaving their three wives behind. While Shikamaru's eyes were sparkling as he felt what it felt like to be among his beloved clouds.

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**The End! Joke! Next chapter will be up in a few weeks. I know it's short but it's just enough to tell all of you that, "No, I am not dead!" And if I get lots of reviews, I might put the next chapter up sooner. XD!**

**Your Authoress,  
M.A.**


	4. Orochimaru

"You've got the best of both worlds!"

"Aaaah!!!!!! Hannah Montana! XD!" Kisame said, squealing with happiness.

"Hakuna Matata!"

"Man, don't change the channel, I want Hannah Montana!" Kisame complained.

"But I want Lion King!" complained Naruto

"That's cartoons!" Kisame screamed.

"But that's what I want!" retorted Naruto.

Okay…. Let's go to what I want.

"The world is changed….I feel it in the water… I feel it the earth…I smell it in the air."

"What the hell is that?" Kisame said.

It's my favorite show. Now shut up.

"…-at once was, is lost. And none now live who remember it."

"You're not even supposed to be here, only the characters can watch. You're the author." Kisame said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Whatever. What the author wants, the author gets.

"That's sounds strangely familiar, believe it!" Naruto said, going into thinking mode.

Whatever. Now shut up I'm trying to listen

"….-egan with the forging of the Great Rings. Three, were given to the elves, immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. Seven, were given to the dwarf-lords, Great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were given to the race of men. Who above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the…"

"The Lord of The Rings?" Sakura said, rushing in. "That's my favorite too!!!!"

"Hey guys, it's the youthful Lord of The Rings!" Lee yelled.

Everyone rushed in. "Great way of ruining the title, man." Kiba said, on his way in.

"Ouch, you stepped on my foot!"

"That's my hand!"

"How smaller could this room get?"

"**Kayl…."**

Yeah…Gailea? Ahhh! Gailea onee-chan! When did you get here?

"**You do know that the camera is already rolling. Don't you?"**

What do you mean, 'the camera is already rolling'?

"**I meant that you're on show already…"**

Oh! OMG! I totally forgot! Sasuke, do the disclaimer for me. Sakura, you do the Crediting. Tennie, you do the special thanks. And Neji, you do the author's note. Uh…. Temari, you put the Title…

"Hai!"

Wait, wait, pause the movie first.

**Pause**

Sasuke: **Naruto or this plot does not belong to Kayl-chan. If she did, I would've killed her by now.**

Kayl: You're mean.

Sasuke: Hn.

Sakura: **Standard Credit and a Magnitude of Thanks given to 'Your Pet Peeve' for letting Kayl-chan continue the story.**

Kayl: Very good! Here's a cookie!

Gaara: Hey, I want a cookie! (pounces on Sakura)

Kayl: That looks…wrong. Considering your position...

Kakashi: Oooh, Gaara, you bad bad boy.

Kayl: Okaaaay, moving on.

Ten-ten: **Special thanks to: Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover for your constant reviewing! Because of you, I decided to put this up early. We love you, girl! Uh…you are a girl, right?**

Kayl: Very good, Tennie! Cookie for you!

Neji: **Hn.**

Kayl: "-_- Way to go, author's note, Neji!

Neji: Hn.

Kayl: Okaaaay, moving on. No cookie for you.

Neji: No, wait…. **Hey guys! Kayl here! I'm updating pretty early, huh? Well it's just because…I don't know. Anywayz, if you're tired of my rambling, on with the story!!!!**

Kayl: Hahahaha! Way to go, Neji! You're girlish voice was very cute, but bad for the ears. Remind me to not let you do that again.

Neji: Yes! Now, where's my cookie?

Kayl: Hahahaha! Okay, here's your cookie.

Temari: **Chapter 21: Orochimaru**

Kayl: Yay! Here, cookie for you Tem-tem. Now we're finally done! Okay, play the movie!

**Gailea:** **"=_= Okay….I guess I'll be going then. (muttering) She's worse than my half-crazed friend….**

"…-nd will to govern each race. But they were all of them, deceived. For another ring was made…"

"AKAMARU! This is not a peeing place! Go pee outside!"

"Shhh! We're listening!"

"…-auron forged in secret a master ring. One ring to rule them all. One by one the free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the ring. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor and in the slopes of Mount Doom, fought for the freedom of Middle Earth…Victory was near. But the power of the ring could not be undone. It was in this moment when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the King took up his father's sword…The Dark Lord Sauron was defeated. The ring passed to Isildur who had this one chance of destroying evil forever. But the hearts of men, are easily corrupted. And the ring of power had a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur to his death…"

"Aaaah! He's dead! Aaaah!" Sakura cried, literally.

" "-_- And they call me emotional…." Sasuke said, sweat dropping.

"Hey Temari, I wonder why you had to ride that helicopter when you were right on this island with us yesterday…." Ten-ten whispered to Temari who was seated lazily beside Shikamaru on the sofa on front of the T.V.

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to make a grand entrance…" Temari replied, smiling.

"Shhh!" everyone said.

"History became legend, legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed out of all knowled—"

"What the hell? Who turned the television off?"

"It is I, Orochimaru of Sound, come to take Sasuke back." A man said, jumping out from behind the T.V. with the cable in his hand and a four-eyed man behind him.

"You can't get Sasuke, you pedophile! He's mine!" Sakura said, clutching Sasuke tightly to emphasize it.

"Relax cherry blossom, I really just came here because I was bored so I decided to join you guys…" Orochimaru said, sweatdropping.

"Oh…. Okay. You! Yes you, you long haired gay, could you please put the cable on so that we could continue watching?" Temari said, looking annoyed. Everyone snickered and the embarrassed Orochimaru put back the cable and squeezed himself between Sasuke and Sakura.

"Eeeew, pedophile!" Sakura said, jumping into Sasuke's arms.

"Ssssh!"

**Flash**

"Smile Sakura!"

"Huh? Oh, (smiles)"

**Flash**

"Sasuke, dear, kiss her already."

Sasuke, not wanting to anger his mother, dipped Sakura's head down and kissed her lightly to which she responded with her arms around his neck and….

**Flash Flash Flash Flash Flash**

**Grin**

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**Me: Okay… That was er…I gotta go now, bye!!!!**

**Me: Hey, Gailea onee-chan, wait for me!!!!!!**

**Gailea: Lollipops! :D**

**Me: Read & Review!!**


	5. Ice Scream

**Hey where are my reviewers? (pouts) Anyway, on with the story. Oh by the way, I'll be updating every 2 weeks from now on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the plot. That's why no one's reviewing. The plot in this chapter is partly taken from smosh(dot)com so to sum it all up, I own NOTHING.

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**Chapter 22: Ice Scream**

"Hey Sakkie, it's me, Sasuke. Meet me at the coconut tree near our ship…my mom wants us too…uh…" Sasuke said, staring at a box containing a beautiful necklace in his hand.

"Spill it Sasuke." Sakura said over the celphone.

"Well, she wants us too…"

"Date? (sigh) I wonder when your father will get Mikoto and bring her home so she could stop bothering us." Sakura replied.

"Yeah, well, I don't know. Meet you there in 5 minutes?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, sure." Sakura said before hanging up.

"Oh damn, I forgot I still have to bathe, change, and fix my hair." Sakura scolded herself after hanging up. She then got a towel and went to the bathroom to bathe.

'_I wonder if she'll accept.'_ Sasuke thought, exiting the room.

"Hey, Teme, where are you going now?" Naruto said, from the couch in the living room.

"I am going to ask Sakura to be my girlfriend." Sasuke boasted, holding up the necklace for Naruto to see.

"You hardly know each other!" Naruto pointed out.

"We're in love, okay? Don't be jealous." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes before leaving the room.

"Alright, good luck getting rejected." Naruto yelled a second before the door slammed close.

Soon, Sasuke reached the coconut tree. Sakura was taking a long time. So he decided to make use of the time and soon, he's cracked open a coconut and was drinking its juice.

"Hey man, could you hold on to this for a second? Thanks." Gaara appeared shoving an ice cream into his hand.

"What?" Sasuke asked, confused. But he was already gone.

Sasuke stood there, rather pissed off as the ice cream began melting into his hand. _'What's taking her so long?'_ he whined in his head. Somewhere in the ship, unknown to him, Sakura was still taking her own sweet time, fixing her hair. Drops of ice cream began dropping to the ground and he decided on licking his messy hands but, in his attempt on doing so, sadly, the ice cream fell SPLAT to the ground.

"Oh, you evil bastard, you just couldn't buy the temptation could you?" Gaara said angrily when he returned.

"Oh, look, I'm sorry. It melted. It melted right here." Sasuke replied, looking so weary and pissed off.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure it melted when you crammed it all in that line hole sin you call mouth." Gaara said angrily.

"What? I would never eat this…this thing with sugar all over it." Sasuke retorted.

"You're a disgrace to Konoha." Chouji said, passing by.

"Hey, mind your own business." Sasuke yelled angrily.

"Excuse me sir, I believe you owe this man an ice cream." Neji said, dressed up as a policeman. "Unless you want me to take you downtown. And that's not a sexual reference." He continued, hands on his dangling gun.

"You must admit your sins my son." Lee said, suddenly appearing in a priest outfit.

"I didn't eat this!" Sasuke said exasperatedly.

"Someone's going to hell." Lee whispered to Gaara who was nodding with a smirk.

"I am very disappointed in you, Sasuke." An elderly woman appeared.

"Grandma?!?" Sasuke said in surprise and annoyance. His head was boiling with rage.

"When I die, I'm leaving everything to your brother. Including Coopy John here." His grandma said, pointing to a stuffed dog on a leash.

"Excuse me but this coconut tree belongs to Suna and jerks, ice-cream stealing people can't eat from it." Kankuro said, grabbing the coconut from his hands.

"Where the hell are you guys coming from?!?!" Sasuke yelled. Oh, they had gotten on his last nerve.

"You owe me a dollar, pay up." Gaara spoke up.

"Well that would have been easy money for you. I just found this briefcase with 1 million dollars and I was gonna share it with you but clearly you're an ice-cream stealing bastard. So I shall share no money with you, you vile creature!" Kiba said, appearing with a hat and a briefcase in hand.

Sasuke was spooked out among all these people. His head was boiling and his hands were twitching with the need to choke someone.

"Sasuke!" Sakura said, stomping in, looking gorgeous in a red flowing dress, her hair tied up.

"Oh Sakura, thank God you're here." Sasuke said, calming down a little.

"How could you steal the Kazekage's ice cream?" she scolded with disappointment in her voice.

'_What?!?!?!'_ Sasuke thought in shock. "It was a big misunderstanding." He almost wailed.

"And to think I was going to go on a date with you? You repulse me! This thing between us, if there even is anything, it's over!" Sakura yelled, waving her hands in the air.

"Someone's going to change his relationship status on facebook." Lee whispered to Sasuke's granny who in turn, nodded in agreement.

"You know what? I give up! Here's your dollar." Sasuke yelled in rage, taking out his wallet.

"Oh, no man, I need two dollars now." Gaara interrupted.

"What?!? You said a dollar!" Sasuke yelled in annoyance. His hands were twitching sooo badly.

"Well I did, but now I gotta take this lovely lady out for some ice cream." Gaara said, motioning to Sakura who blushed at him.

"You know what? Fine, take all of these." He said throwing his wallet to the ground. "And I don't need this anymore, take it." He said, throwing his credit card at Gaara.

"Oh really? Thanks man." Gaara said, holding his arm out for Sakura who willingly took it. He didn't bother picking up the wallet. Besides, he already had the credit card.

"After that, everyone slowly walked away. His grandma went, shaking her head in disappointment. Neji went, still in his policeman outfit. Lee went but as he passed by Sasuke he whispered, "You're still going to hell." Chouji picked up Sasuke's wallet and all his money and left. Sasuke stood there, shaking his head in surprise.

"Oh man, I have a confession to make." Kiba whispered holding out his briefcase.

"What?" Sasuke said in annoyance.

"It's not really a million dollars in here," Kiba said in a hushed voice. "I collect shells." He said, opening the briefcase to reveal the colorful shells within.

Sasuke shook his head in disbelief. "Congratulations man, you just got yourself in a reality show." A random man appeared.

"You mean all of this isn't real?" Sasuke said, with hope in his voice.

"Yep." The random man replied.

"Even that?" Sasuke said, pointing to Sakura and Gaara, making out furiously under a nearby tree.

"Uh…no." the random guy said. "Here, sign this." He said, handing a pen to Sasuke who in turn signed his name on the contract like paper.

"Oh my god, you're Sasuke Uchiha?" the random guy said, after seeing him sign his name. "I'm Edward Cullen and I'm like your biggest fan will you sign my nipple?"

Sasuke shook his head in disbelief and climbed the ship to be met by Neji still in his policeman uniform.

"Hey, dude, sorry if you misunderstood me earlier. I mean, when I said I'd take you 'downtown', I meant downtown to the precinct. Not 'downtown' as in my pants." Neji said. "But you know, we could you know, sex. If you ask."

Sasuke entered the living room to find Naruto still watching TV in the same position when he left.

"So, did you pop the question?" Naruto asked, seeing Sasuke.

"Yeah!" Sasuke said in exasperation. Naruto's face turned to one of shock when he saw Neji come in, in a policeman outfit with the necklace Sasuke had around his neck.

"It's so beautiful!" Neji said, sniffing, fingering the necklace around his neck.

* * *

**Finally done! Half the plot was gotten from smosh(dot)com…**

**Will anyone please review?!?! I'm desperate.**


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